


Shatter

by PsychoStar



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-09
Updated: 2012-09-09
Packaged: 2017-11-13 22:19:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoStar/pseuds/PsychoStar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Sauli breaks apart in Adam's arms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shatter

Adam came home a few hours earlier, he had an interview cancelation and there was less traffic than usual. This was good because Sauli was leaving tomorrow and this meant that they would have enough time for a proper goodbye, a nice dinner and to chance up with each other’s life, they both been kept apart for too long. Adam parked the car and with a wide smile he walked in the front garden, he wondered what Sauli was doing and how surprised he was going to be to see Adam. That joyful smile was Adam’s gateway to heaven. He was so lucky to have such a cheerful person by his side, so he could soak up some of that positivity and take it with him.

 

He entered the house, as quietly as possible, maybe he would even get to scare the pants off of his lover, boxers too, maybe. He smirked and walked upstairs when he made sure the first level was empty, Sauli was probably in front of his computer working out his ‘technical difficulties’ that boy was everything but and an engineer.

 

“Sauli?” Adam pushed the bedroom door open smiling and waiting for the gasp and the cute screams of joy. But they never came. Instead he heard something that made his whole pleasant mood disappear, a whimper he never before heard before. No actually, he did hear it before, but it was caused by pleasure or happiness, this one was sorrow and bitter, chest clenchingly painful to hear, it was coming from the bathroom. “Sauli?” Adam said louder walking towards the slightly parted door.

 

“A-Adam.” Sobbed a surprised voice, more shocked then surprised.

 

“What’s wrong baby? Why are you in there?” Adam immediately went to open the door and help his boyfriend with whatever he was dealing with.

 

“Don’t!” Sauli shouted slamming the door shut. He started crying even louder then, Adam was shocked for a moment, his lover never acted this way, what’s happening?

 

“Sauli, what’s wrong? Please let me in.” Adam said trying at the door again. He was worried beyond limits, his lover could be hurt in there. “Let me help you! Please!”

 

“It’s back.” Sauli said sniffing like a little child. What was back? He heard the door click and he immediately opened it, walking inside to find his lover standing on the toilet, faced cupped in his hands, crying. He immediately rushed by Sauli’s side, embracing him and trying to look at him. Adam was scared beyond words.

 

“It looks so ugly.” Sauli said finally getting his hands out of the way. Adam didn’t even noticed it at first, he was distracted by the tears stained cheeks and the red shot eyes, but then he noticed, on the corner of his left eye, a small little yellow cyst. He had one once before on the other eye, but it passed away after a few weeks and a few doctor appointments, but he never cried about it, it never seemed to bother him much. So why was he so upset now about it now?

 

“It—it just appeared this morning, I can’t stand them anymore, Adam. I don’t want you seeing me with them, it’s so ugly.” Adam almost felt like crying himself, how could his boyfriend even suggests that he looks ugly.

 

“Sauli, baby!” Adam said making sure Sauli was looking at him. “You’re the most beautiful person I ever saw, you take my breath away every time I look at you. I cannot believe that you thought this small thing could make you ugly.” He said, immediately kissing Sauli’s eye.

 

“But you always say how much you love my eyes, why do I have to have a problem exactly with them?” Sauli broke down again into cries in Adam’s chest. Adam couldn’t believe this was happening, his lover was breaking apart into his arms, he was always the most cheerful person in the world, but of course, he had his weaknesses, Adam just never saw them, because Sauli was strong. He had to be strong, to balance Adam out, to tell him that he wasn’t fat, or that his freckles were beautiful and keep him happy, Adam never thought about Sauli’s demons, though.

 

“Shh, come on.” Adam lifted Sauli up into his arms and carried him to the bed, where he laid him down and climbed on next to him. He didn’t say a word; he just let Sauli calm down and let it all out,

 

“How am I supposed to do my show in Copenhagen looking like this?” Sauli whispered softly, Adam almost didn’t understand it, but then he pulled a bit away from Sauli, looking at him again, his eyes can’t even detect the small problem, he can only see a beautiful, kind hearted and loving man.

 

“You don’t have to worry about that, with a pinch of makeup it will never show. And no one will see it anyway, because the only this they will be admiring will be the gorgeous smile, the perfect nose, and the sheer crystal blue eyes, that have no comparison, that small infection can’t shade them. And please don’t ever worry about me not liking you, never be afraid to cry in front of me, I want to share your happiness as well as your pain, I want all of you, not just the beautiful side.” Sauli started crying again, but they weren’t tears of sorrow, they were tears of release. “You can break into pieces, I’ll be there to put them back together.” He whispered and kissed Sauli, sharing his tears.  

 

Later that night they were both laying naked in bed, Sauli set his alarm for the plane tomorrow, and then turned into Adam’s arms, smiling as beautiful as ever.  

 

“Sing me something until I fall asleep?” Sauli asked, Adam smiled, he never sang it before to Sauli, but now it seemed fitting.

 

“Broken pieces break into me...

So imperfectly

What you should be

I don't want you to go

Don't want to see you back out in the cold

Air you're breathing out

Fades you to gray

Don't run away

Find me

I know the battles of

Chasing the shadows

Of who you want to be” He stopped the quiet whispered singing when he noticed his beloved had fallen into slumber. He smiled and whiped his own tears away. It was their imperfections that made them perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> This was totally mood induced! I wrote it in half an hour! 
> 
> I noticed that Sauli's cyst came back in a one of his blog pics. I had a problem with them half on my teenage years, trust me, it's not as light of a problem as it seems. :( 
> 
>  
> 
> I really hope that he get's better (if it's actually back, not 100% sure) and his immune system learns how to deal with them (That's what my doctor said it's the only permanent solution)


End file.
